Kyle Valenti (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kyle_valenti) wrote2006-02-10 10:37 am
kyle_valenti) wrote2006-02-10 10:37 am
Random Kyle thoughts
Why can't things go back to being the way they used to? I remember being happy with my binky.
If I created a duck/fox/chicken creature and taught it to lay bricks, could I call it a mason dixon?
Can a human being die of loneliness? If so, can I have his apartment when he does?
Why is that old guy considered more of a friend than I am? He's not even that hot. But he carries a gun. Big woop. Bottom line? Feds equal trouble.
What's wrong with getting a head start on one's next life by ending this one early? Early bird catches the worm and all that.
If absence makes the heart grow fonder, does presence make the heart grow colder?
Why isn't beer considered a power drink?
How many brush offs does it take before someone gets the picture (picture, painting, brush...get it)?
Why do I make lame jokes that only make sense to me?
And then why am I surprised that no one wants to include me?
If I spontaneously combusted in someone's face, could they light a cigarette off me?
If being lame and stupid were a disease and I lost a leg to it, would I then be lame squared?
How many buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? None. No one can change the bulb. It must want to change itself.
Why do I think that's funny?
If I could be invisible, would anyone notice or just think I was being quieter than usual?
If I got married, had a kid, died, came back as my own grandchild and then remarried my wife, would that make me my own grandfather?
If pennies were taken out of circulation, would vendors be forced to end prices with .95 instead of .99?
Why is that other old guy considered a better friend than I am? He's not even that hot. But he carries a gun. Big woop. Bottom line? Private dicks equal trouble.
Why am I so short?
No, seriously, why? Did I lose a bet or something?
Is heading to Vegas and getting married to a showgirl a bad idea? Even if she's really stacked?
Is it wrong to have impure thoughts about Keelia? And Isabel? Together?
Am I even gay? Bi? Buy? Bye?
So..if I were a pimp trying to pawn off a whore who swings both ways but I'm bidding the potential john farewell, I'd say, "Bye, buy bi."
Now I understand why I'm single.
If I created a duck/fox/chicken creature and taught it to lay bricks, could I call it a mason dixon?
Can a human being die of loneliness? If so, can I have his apartment when he does?
Why is that old guy considered more of a friend than I am? He's not even that hot. But he carries a gun. Big woop. Bottom line? Feds equal trouble.
What's wrong with getting a head start on one's next life by ending this one early? Early bird catches the worm and all that.
If absence makes the heart grow fonder, does presence make the heart grow colder?
Why isn't beer considered a power drink?
How many brush offs does it take before someone gets the picture (picture, painting, brush...get it)?
Why do I make lame jokes that only make sense to me?
And then why am I surprised that no one wants to include me?
If I spontaneously combusted in someone's face, could they light a cigarette off me?
If being lame and stupid were a disease and I lost a leg to it, would I then be lame squared?
How many buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? None. No one can change the bulb. It must want to change itself.
Why do I think that's funny?
If I could be invisible, would anyone notice or just think I was being quieter than usual?
If I got married, had a kid, died, came back as my own grandchild and then remarried my wife, would that make me my own grandfather?
If pennies were taken out of circulation, would vendors be forced to end prices with .95 instead of .99?
Why is that other old guy considered a better friend than I am? He's not even that hot. But he carries a gun. Big woop. Bottom line? Private dicks equal trouble.
Why am I so short?
No, seriously, why? Did I lose a bet or something?
Is heading to Vegas and getting married to a showgirl a bad idea? Even if she's really stacked?
Is it wrong to have impure thoughts about Keelia? And Isabel? Together?
Am I even gay? Bi? Buy? Bye?
So..if I were a pimp trying to pawn off a whore who swings both ways but I'm bidding the potential john farewell, I'd say, "Bye, buy bi."
Now I understand why I'm single.
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