Jan. 6th, 2006
TM Letter to anyone
Jan. 6th, 2006 11:05 amSince I usually try to say what's on my mind (most of the time), there isn't any one person to whom I have anything to say. It is for this reason that I've decided to write a letter to the universe.
To Whom It May Concern:
Why?
I don't ask for much. In fact, I don't ask for anything except a feeling of peace, safety and tranquility. So, why?
I don't complain, I take things as they come, I deal with the hands I've been dealt and I put up with a lot of shit that most people would turn around and walk away from.
So... why?
I'm sure you think I'm complaining right now, but I'm not. I'm only asking a question. Do I honestly have to wait for my next life? I try not to want because that's the cause of suffering, but it's been this way since before I ever thought about buddhism.
Should I give that up? Should I go back to being a dumb jock so the only thing I'm concerned about is... No. Even that won't work. The time for that is long over. I peaked in high school and now I'm left with the knowledge that none of that ever really mattered and might as well have never existed. Sometimes I wonder if there's a point to existing at all, even now.
There are plenty of people who have things so much worse than I do, I know. There are people who want the same thing I do, so I feel a little ashamed for thinking I deserve anything more than what I have. Actually, I probably deserve less than I have, though I'm not entirely sure how much less I could have. I could be completely alone and homeless, I suppose.
Never mind. I won't tell you what I want. If the universe has said no once already, it's best not to push it.
Respectfully yours,
Kyle
To Whom It May Concern:
Why?
I don't ask for much. In fact, I don't ask for anything except a feeling of peace, safety and tranquility. So, why?
I don't complain, I take things as they come, I deal with the hands I've been dealt and I put up with a lot of shit that most people would turn around and walk away from.
So... why?
I'm sure you think I'm complaining right now, but I'm not. I'm only asking a question. Do I honestly have to wait for my next life? I try not to want because that's the cause of suffering, but it's been this way since before I ever thought about buddhism.
Should I give that up? Should I go back to being a dumb jock so the only thing I'm concerned about is... No. Even that won't work. The time for that is long over. I peaked in high school and now I'm left with the knowledge that none of that ever really mattered and might as well have never existed. Sometimes I wonder if there's a point to existing at all, even now.
There are plenty of people who have things so much worse than I do, I know. There are people who want the same thing I do, so I feel a little ashamed for thinking I deserve anything more than what I have. Actually, I probably deserve less than I have, though I'm not entirely sure how much less I could have. I could be completely alone and homeless, I suppose.
Never mind. I won't tell you what I want. If the universe has said no once already, it's best not to push it.
Respectfully yours,
Kyle